Sunday, May 27, 2012

The ?5 Idiots? of English football

#5 Luis Suarez

The Liverpool striker?s genius and ability on the football pitch has never been doubted, but it?s his attitude and dignity which have been always under the scanner. The Uruguayan gave a credible account of the latter, when he turned into an acting goalkeeper in the 2010 World Cup quarterfinal against Ghana. But his volatile temperament came to the fore this season with the Merseysiders, as he was involved in two separate incidents which enraged rivals? fans and even Scousers all over the world.

Suarez was accused and charged of racially abusing Manchester United left-back Patrice Evra in the North-West derby in October. He was handed an eight-match ban by the FA, to which Suarez and his teammates reacted by wearing ?Support-Suarez? t-shirts in a pre-match training against Wigan. This act didn?t go down well with football fans and administrators over the globe as it was termed as a careless public display of the players? complete disrespect towards the ?Kick Racism Out of Football? campaign.

A shameless Suarez returned to his ugly-best as he was photographed showing the ?Middle One? to Fulham fans on his way to the tunnel after a game at Craven Cottage. All a kind-hearted FA managed to do was to dole out a one-match ban.

But Suarez wasn?t finished for the season. Suarez returned to Old Trafford for the first time after serving out his ban in February. During the pre-match rituals, he refused to shake hands with Evra, leading to immediate protests from Evra and other United players. Later, as Suarez?s disgraceful snub took centrestage, condemnations from all parts of England started rushing in, forcing Liverpool to release an official apology. So much for a measure of revenge.

#4 Djibril Cisse

8 games ? 6 goals and 2 red cards. If there was ever a game to guess the player associated with such a statistic, nine people out of ten would say Djibril Cisse without a second thought. Such is the reputation that the unpredictable Frenchman has managed to garner in his career across Western Europe. Cisse made a return to English football after a gap of 3 years when QPR manager Mark Hughes signed him from Lazio in the January transfer window. Cisse has never been able to keep himself out of the headlines since.

Rangers? fans were highly apprehensive of their new striker given his on-field outbursts with Liverpool in the past, even though Cisse is?a noted goal-scorer. They got a taste of both in his first two games as he scored against Aston Villa and was then sent off against Wolves for grabbing Roger Johnson?s throat in response to a dangerous tackle.

The man clearly showed that he meant business as just two weeks later he received his second red card for an ugly two-footed lunge on Fraizer Campbell. Cisse managed to get a hold of his senses in the next three games, scoring in all three, including the equalizer against City on the last day of the season. Indeed the crazy-hairdo wacko is all about three things- Entertainment, Entertainment, Entertainment!

#3 Mario Balotelli

You know a guy has some serious mental issues if he, being an Inter player, appears on national TV wearing a Milan jersey. Super Mario, as they call him, has been at the centre of media attention ever since his genius became known to the football fraternity. But instead of his prodigal talent being in the headlines, it?s his antics on and off the pitch which always manage to overshadow his exploits with the ball. Mario used every trick in his bag this season, be it setting off crackers inside his own crib, then innocently and almost amusingly revealing the iconic ?Why Always me?? jersey in the Manchester Derby.

Jokes apart, Balotelli too can be a handful when it comes to throwing in ugly challenges and displaying utter stubbornness in controlling one?s emotions. His brutal stamp on Scott Parker might have evaded Howard Webb?s eyes, but the FA took no time in taking action against the horrendous moment of rage.

He was at it again against Arsenal in April, getting away with a knee piercing attempt on Alex Song and then finally receiving the marching orders for a couple more efforts on Bacary Sagna in a performace which Roberto Mancini termed as ?dangerous, chaotic and birdbrain?. Some believe that the 21-year old might just have scored his last shoulder goal for City.

#2 Joey Barton

Probably the most controversial footballer in the United Kingdom after Paul Gascoigne, Joey Barton has made controversies, bans, jail terms and Twitter rants his USP. The guy has taken digs at almost anybody and everybody in his 9-year long senior career. After two months-long sentences early in his career, which included an assault on his City teammate, Barton forced himself out of Newcastle after repeatedly insulting the Magpies on his favourite pastime Twitter.

What followed were a shocking series of events. Newly-promoted QPR signed him on a free transfer and Neil Warnock handed him the captain?s armband on his debut. Barton, whose creativity and vision in midfield has always been appreciated, was involved in a series of confrontations and altercation right throughout the season. But somehow that one big incident begged for approval.

But Barton, the man he is, never disappoints. He saved his best for the last. On the final day of the season, with QPR embroiled in a relegation battle with Bolton, Barton did the unthinkable. With QPR level at 1-1 and looking solid in defense, Barton elbowed Tevez in the face and was immediately shown the way to the tunnel. But Joey wasn?t done for the day as he, in a fit of anger, kicked Sergio Aguero and almost head-butted Vincent Kompany. His dreadful act spurred City on, as they went on to claim the league trophy in the very last minute. More importantly, it almost sent QPR spiralling down back into Division Two.

#1 Carlos Tevez

He might not be an abysmal tackler or a short-tempered on-field wrestler, but his audacity in certain situations and sheer guts make him a true idiot. Involved in two of the season?s most high-profile incidents, Tevez first refused to come on to play as a substitute in a Champions League game against Bayern Munich. What followed was a period of hell on Earth for the Argentinean, and deservedly so. United and City fans came together for a rare occasion in the ?Trash your Tevez Shirt? campaign as both sides of supporters called for his Manchester exit.

Tevez, meanwhile, was sent on a garden leave to his homeland, where he extensively searched for a new club who could afford his wages and transfer fees. He came back defeated and finally apologised to Roberto Mancini, who had earlier told the media that Tevez would never play for City again.

But the real moment of madness occurred during City?s celebratory bus tour in Manchester. Tevez was seen holding a placard reading ?RIP Fergie? in an open-bus, an event which was blasted by sports media, pundits and football fans in every nook and corner of the world. Moreover, Tevez was unapologetic about it, claiming that Sir Alex Ferguson is treated like UK?s president.

Manchester City were quick to offer an apology on Tevez?s behalf and City, ironically, just a day after they snatched a historic league trophy from their fierce city rivals after 44 long years, ended up apologising to Manchester United.

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